The Whiskey Monologues

REST IN PEACE

i can’t drink liquor anymore. i’ve read somewhere that this is a typical statement of alcoholics who are trying to justify their continued use of alcohol - “i’ll only drink on weekends” or “i’ll only have __ drinks tonight” or “i’ll only drink beer”, things like that. i’ve used all the above, at different times in my life.

but really, i can’t drink liquor anymore. binge drinking has stripped away my right to do so. and oh - how i miss it so. vodka, tequila, even the occasional whiskey when i’m trying to impress the person i’m drinking with, because they ususally only drink whiskey, and i would never want to appear like a lightweight, or a pussy. that would just be the worst thing i could do.

so yeah, i can’t drink liquor anymore, because i don’t know when or how to put the glass down, or the bottle, and then i end up erasing 8 hours worth of memories, every single time. i became rather tired of having to call or text the person i had been with the night before to find out how i got home, and what secrets i had revealed, and how do i have more money than i left with in my wallet, and why do i have several giant bruises scattered all over my body?

so i can’t drink liquor anymore, but i’ll be damned if you think i won’t drink twice as many beers to make up for it.

Submitted by But It Always Turns Out This Way.