The Whiskey Monologues

remember when we thought we were so smart, smoking cigarettes in the coffee shop, the only place in town where you could still smoke inside, i don’t think you can anymore but i haven’t been there in years, you were reading beat era poetry outloud and i was sipping coffee mixed with whiskey because i had just discovered that somehow, there was some way to make you look even prettier, i wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but there it was.

remember when we were lovers, wrapped up in your clean sheets just us and our nakedness, remember when you accidentally spilled that can of paint on the floor and we were too entranced by each other to care, remember when your dad yelled at you and you blamed it on me and didn’t tell me for months, i went from september till february wondering why your dad stopped liking me all the sudden.

remember the seasons, and how the leaves would fall, remember if you asked me if i thought the world was ending? i remember not knowing what to say. i remember your laughter and the way you would tell me every day that i was crazy, that i must be crazy. i remember watching you get dressed for school from my bed, my eyes were hazy but even then i could tell that you were beautiful, that was my favorite part of the day, that and remember when you would jump up and down on me, five minutes before we had to leave? remember catching the school bus when my car broke down that one time and we were in bad moods already because we couldn’t smoke cigarettes and play the kooks at full volume on our way and your bus driver kept giving us dirty looks and when we got back on the next morning she handed us a brochure from that church down the street from school about how sex before marriage was the work of the devil? i bet you still have it, you loved souvenirs. 

remember when i told you that i would never forget the flecks of gold in your eyes, or the way the sun shone on your hair, everything about you was golden, i haven’t forgotten any of it, i know you think i’ve forgotten about you, probably, but i try and i try and i can’t. and i can’t decide if i want to or not, but it doesn’t matter, i don’t think i’ll ever be able to, i promised you after prom night that i would never lie to you again and i plan to stick to that and if that means i’ll keep seeing you in my dreams, well then that’s okay with me.

Submitted by In The Margins: http://nervosity.tumblr.com/ (Until tumblr fixes their hyperlink problem.)